Kerry Says

-- “And If I’ve really pissed her off, I have to get myself in a position where I can rub her back.”

--“'scuse me?”

--“Yeah, it’s the only thing that calms her down. It’s tricky too, especially when she’s yelling and her hands are flying everywhere… she’s a hand talker you know… worse than a friggin’ Frenchmen. But if I can just get in there and start running my hand down her back, you know scratch it a little? Then I can usually start talking my way out of whatever it is I’ve done.”

--“Hmmm Interesting. And she hasn’t caught on to this yet?”

--“Oh no, she’s totally on to it. She even tries to start fights when her back is to the wall so I can’t get my arm around. But once I’m in there it’s like Pavlovian or something. She just kinda melts. It’s awesome.”

--“Jesus. I’m going to have to try that next time I’m in the shit.”

--“Well, make sure you pick the right moment to go in dude. Time it wrong and you’ll end up with a shot in the face. It’s happened to me more than once.”

--“But that's, like, accidental right?”

--“Well… I choose to think so.”

(Speaking of How I Won The War, someone brought home a good li'l Report Card and made Mama proud.)